applecores&peachpits

Dudes. Imagine life here in the US - or indeed, pretty much anywhere in the Western world - is a massive role playing game, like World of Warcraft except appallingly mundane, where most quests involve the acquisition of money, cell phones and donuts, although not always at the same time. Let’s call it The Real World. You have installed The Real World on your computer and are about to start playing, but first you go to the settings tab to bind your keys, fiddle with your defaults, and choose the difficulty setting for the game. Got it?
Okay: In the role playing game known as The Real World, “Straight White Male” is the lowest difficulty setting there is.

Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is

tumblrbuddies:

For many reasons, I miss you. What sorts of things would you like to see more of? I’m guilty of not posting enough cool pics (cuz my “likes” show up on my page, and they’re mostly images). I wanna know what you wanna see more of based on the parts of my blog you already like! Got ideas?

liberationfrequency:

Journalist: Do you feel, however, that we’re making progress in this country?

Malcolm X: No, no. I will never say that progress is being made. If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, that’s not progress. If you pull it all the way out, that’s not progress. Progress is healing the wound that the blow made. They won’t even admit that the knife is there!

(via fratellolupo)

“The Community n Stuff”

Not that it’s usually my habit of taking advantage of a surprise group gathering to air my grievances about anything with which members of that group might be involved, but today, I felt strongly and ear-reddeningly tempted.

An old friend was visiting. Since the birth of her child and departure from the city, it’s been hard to stay in touch. A course nearby has her in the city for the week with her partner and newborn. She invited a handful of friends to chat over lunch. It was a bit last minute for me to find out that our reunion would be a group affair, but it seemed like a take-it-or-leave-it situation. Being that I love this friend, I went, regardless of my instinct to question my comfort levels around other invitees.

After food arrangements were figured out and the baby was happily toddling up and down the hallways, dutifully disturbing meetings and the chaplaincy office, my friend, let’s here call her Galix, spoke up with what felt like a respectably bold question:

So, what’s new? How’s this city feeling lately? — you know, the community and stuff…

Having just days ago reflected on how a handful of survivors, myself included, appear to be at the fulcrum of apparent schism within “the community”, my choice to respond came swift and not unlike a strong and sudden southerly wind as I attempted to assert the notion that it was a topic of contention. I was pleased that, given the context — friends in whom I’d come to feel disappointed and hurt by, a short timeline and what was to otherwise be a friendly lunch — there was some vague back up to my reply.

I really think that it depend on who you ask.

I said. And luckily came

and what kind of week they’re having.

from beside me. Another friend chimed in with a reply that echoed the sentiments of uncertainty and communally-felt disconnect.

Perhaps it’s all projection on my behalf. Over a year ago, I dropped a pretty heavy A-bomb: “Abuser” — an apt description for my ex-partner and one that I made as public as possible given the various restrictions I was under (and still am). For those who’ve had similar experiences, I’m certain it would suffice to say that did not go over all too well. For the handful who have not been through this experience, or sought to resolve it, you may not have noticed the effects.

Here’s one: People Stop Talking To You.

Examples:

Q: Have you seen So-and-So lately? How’re they doing?
A: I don’t really know… they seem to be keeping to themselves.. I guess they’ve got a lot of shit to work through these days…

Q: Hey, what’s up with WhatsHerName? I haven’t heard much from her!
A: She doesn’t really come out to things anymore, I don’t really know what’s going on with that.

Q: So, how are things going in the community n stuff? Everyone doing okay these days?
A: That’s a good question — I haven’t done much to figure that out or participate in communal issues, so I really can’t answer that with much confidence whatsoever.

As someone who’s become pretty obviously isolated by the lack of practical solidarity within “the community”, I am very confident in how I want to answer these questions:

The community feels disconnected and unreliable.

Disbandments and “Are-We-Still-Not-Over-This-Yet?s” put survivors in at least one very predictable situation — Isolation. We sense there are very few who believe us or validate our experiences, and even fewer who which to support us in coming to a healthy resolve. With this in mind — and if the situations are anything like my own wherein we’ve spent up to years dealing with the aftermath of abuse in our lives — what else are we to do?

“Keep trying,” some may say, “they will never change unless you show them how.” Solid advice for those who have perhaps not being “showing them how” for several years.

There’s a point at which you begin to see it differently.

The amount of energy we put into encouraging people to Wise Tha Fuck Up has gotten some of us: 1) a solid inventory of individuals who need to wise the fuck up; 2) lost friends and a weakened social life; 3) endless hours to list on an activist resume under “feminism” and “support work”; and 4) some nasty backlash from critics of “vigilantism”. Perhaps it’s a contributing factor to being in what appears to my finally being in a relationship with a lover who isn’t abusive. That said I’m not about to neglect my losses and put all my eggs in one basket.

All these facts in mind, many of us in this boat find ourselves rowing faithfully toward a relatively uninhabited shoreline, embracing introversion (in spite of what sometimes feels like excommunication) and, of course, writing until our fingers bleed. We don’t have energy left to put into “the community” after we note the promises of reciprocity so often associated with community have been made with little foresight for reality when situations of magnitude arise.

So, How is the Community? Sadly, it still depends what wrung on the ladder you’re viewing it from.

hairypitsclub:

Hollah! 5 years of pittie love, and going strong!

Love to you all, pittie lovers!

A truly badass and fierce friend of mine who’s been waiting “far too long” for a little HPC glory.

(via Why Do We Romanticize Bareback Sex?)

After considering some criticisms of Schwyzer’s article above, I decided to rewrite it without any references or reputable sources:

Condom use, i.e. the use of male condoms, largely focuses around three major concerns: the financial cost and responsibility of maintaining the regular presence of condoms; the cost of bodily infection (including STIs as well as infection with any embryonic activity); and the cost of reduced pleasure. One of these costs — the cost of bodily infection with either STIs or embryos — is an intimidating cost that often causes many people anxiety and apprehensions, even fear.

STIs will negatively affect the life of any human afflicted with them. Pregnancy or conception will affect one kind of human, the kinds with wombs susceptible to pregnancy, more thoroughly and severely than other kinds of humans whose bodies can not incur pregnancy. If your body is of the latter variety, you will probably not bare the same stress, anxiety or apprehension that is presented by the threat of conception of embryos.

The burden of financial costs and responsibilities of regular condom use is one that can fairly easily be equally divided between individuals sharing sexual experiences together. The burden of reduced pleasure is more complicated. The burden of an STI or of conception/pregnancy can not be so equally shared because, similar to the burden of reduced physical pleasure, each individual will have different, highly personal experiences of their own. (The idea being that two people can not experience the exact same thing.)

Most of the prominent complaints and concerns with reduced pleasure have come from cisgendered men — that physical pleasure is severely reduced by condom use. Seldom has the emotional or mental impact of birth control and/or STI prevention methods for the woman appeared to be a prominent aspect in the equation. Perhaps the physical pleasure of sex is generally and approximately equally reduced for individuals of this demographic, or for individuals of all identities. Sadly, there has been virtually no accessible media to either prove or disprove this idea. Perhaps a lack of condom use results in a reduction of non-physical pleasure for any human body who does bare the stress, anxiety or apprehension of the threat of conception of embryos, or the threat of infection. Again, this concept is not one that has become a prominent factor in the greater discussion. Certainly when I have felt anxious or guilty, I have not experienced as much pleasure during sex as I have experienced during sex when my mind is at ease.

It is important to know that the male condom is also the only accessible form of STI prevention, with the exception of abstinence.

For most people the world over — when it is considered that over half of the world population is composed of people who are not cisgendered men, and when it is considered that sex entails a range of different meanings and uses especially in countries whose people do not experience as many privileges as we do in North America — sex is not solely (or even typically) an act of physical pleasure, or any other kind of pleasure. On the contrary, as a matter of fact, sex is more often than not an act of discomfort and even violation for many people, even within North America. Sometimes sex is a neutral act in which someone is consensually offering it as a service for the pleasure of others (some cases in which, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn, sex is mutually pleasurable). With these facts in mind, the prominent issue of the cisgendered man’s physical pleasure concerns loses a lot of its weight.

Many alternatives (to male condom use as a form of birth control) come with costs that have similar if not equal affects on the lives of their users. With the exception of vasectomies, all other available forms of birth control affect the bodies of the woman. When human bodies are affected, it can be assumed that their emotions and experiences of pleasure are also affected, indirectly, by these measures (e.g. a side effect of some birth control pills is depression, bodily changes, and decreased sex drive). Because all current methods of preventative birth control affect the human body, as well as the human mind and soul/heart/emotions, etc., and because many experiences of sex involve all of these things, preventative measures will also have indirect affects on sex.

Retroactive forms of birth control, if they involve termination of the growing cells or of the pregnancy, will not affect the cisgendered male body. This form of birth control will not only negatively affect women’s bodies (e.g. pain, hormonal disturbances, etc.), but will also have other negative effects mentally and emotionally (e.g. stigmatisations, hormonal disturbances, etc.). It can be assumed that options of retroactive birth control that do not terminate before birth (e.g. adoption) will affect several humans in many different ways. This is another method of birth control that, for various reasons, gets little coverage or credit.

Male condom use is the only current and widely-accessible method of STI and pregnancy prevention that can be used fairly reliably “in the moment”. Male condoms present no long term negative affects (except for humans with latex allergies). Male condoms do present one short term negative affect on the enjoyment aspect of sex, particularly the physical pleasure aspect, namely largely for cisgendered men.

Compared to the long list of complexities and multitude of risks and negative effects associated with all other forms of birth control, all of which would be incurred by women (again, except for vasectomy), male condom use is the most accessible and most reliable method for of preventing pregnancy, avoiding STIs, avoiding long-term negative side effects, and, if used well, sharing pleasurable sex.

Perhaps this one variable of reduced physical pleasure while using condoms could be experimented with in ways that might eventually bring the pleasure threshold around to where it is when no condom is used during sex. One suggestion is to experiment with the size of the condom.

Another suggestion is for us to all to stop being closed minded and self-centered about it. To honour all of the other countless negative experiences of birth control (and STI prevention) is apparently to negate or minimise the experience of pleasure of cisgendered men. However, by putting the physical sexual pleasure of male-condom wearers (e.g. cisgendered men) above both the pleasure and the pain of everyone else, we limit ourselves to a view that honours one kind of minority bodily experience while negating the rest. Those of us with the privilege to debate such topics are generally within the demographic of humans who have the means to act on our complaints and frustrations. Perhaps a good first step is to try all variations of male-condom use before ruling the option out entirely. I personally doubt that the next-most accessible option, abstinence, will be considered seriously.

aaawww. shit. RIP Cota Limburger and Hazel Mae McGillicuddy. They were only that cute together for about a month while still kittens, but they were fantastic friends and I miss them both dearly.

(via sevenofcups)

Anarchism’s Nice Guys™: How to Spot ‘Em

Ah, the Freindzone. Well known semi-permanent stomping grounds to Nice Guys™ across North America, and throughout the UK (case in point Fresh Meat’s Kingsley, a prime example).

This article, as posted from some folks at the Feminist Alliance McMaster, shines a bit more light on the Nice Guys™ profile. As indicted therein, the picture to the right is what the Friendzone looks like IRL. (Please note the satire — we all know the Friendzone looks more like a living room or local cafe.)

Shakesville also offers an absolutely amazing piece composed by their very own Jeff Fecke. What’s great about this one is that it’s written by a dude and written with Nice Guy™ readers (or their many, many loyal defenders) in mind.

Below is (should be — please drop a line in my ask box to the tune of “wtf — where’s the essay?”, if not) a excerpt from Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape.

My business with this essay is the section dubbed Nice Guys™: Applying for Access to the Pussy Oversoul (pg. 33 - 35).

Toward a Performance Model of Sex, by Thomas Macaulay Millar

The term Nice Guys™ is dropped casually throughout the book, though not particularly frequently. Following my first reading of Julia Serraro’s Why Nice Guys Finish Last, I stewed on the concepts and reflected upon the ways the common definitions baffled me. All my experiences (in the previous 5 years) with nice guys involved dudes who looked like this:

Perhaps not exactly “hipsters” (by their own definitions or otherwise) but definitely close. “Alternative” guys who wanted to seem friendly and kind toward women, and “open” toward “different” experiences toward men. Some of them also looked an awful lot like this:

Classic. He’s leaning on the wall of the building that the latest Anarchist Bookfair took place in, quietly reading from a book; or having a nonchalant and highly stylized smoke outside of a venue; or sharing a bit about the price of his earth-friendly vegan footwear to charmed and curious Others. Often seen companionless… but who are we to judge?

After having been beyond wooed (you here have my permission to read that as “persistently fawned over and pestered”) by one of these architypes of Nice Guy™, I considered the options and decided (under the pressure of the aforesaid persistence) to reciprocate a bit. Bad idea.

Are there any other anarchists or radicals out there who already know where I’m going with this? Perhaps after having several similar experiences?

…Macho “anarchists” who talk too much at meetings, adhere to the cult of the great thinkers (drop Kropotkin, Bakunin, Proudhon, Chomsky, etc… all the time), negate others’ experiences, take up space, exert their privileges to their fullest, and generally perpetuate heteropatriarchal bullshit

Urban Dictionary offered that as a definition for “Manarchist”.

The NiceGuy™ brand of Manarchist avoids these more-glaring flaws by employing some very covert strategies:

Instead of talking too much at meetings, NiceGuy™ Manarchists may barely say a word. What few words they contribute may include cliche buzzwords of “class privilege” or “accountability” or “community”. They won’t speak at length about these topics, however, because then it would become apparent they have no idea what they’re talking about. Perhaps they’ll here segue into a derailing anecdote about their own experiences.
Although they may “adhere to the cult of great thinkers”, dropping names here and there, they’ll make sure to get enough Goldman in there so they don’t become completely discredited by potential feminist or she-anarchist mates (they don’t make the distinction).
Instead of openly dismissing or denying other’s experiences, they will take every opportunity in which others’ experiences are shared, to cut in with their own experiences. Usually, this is done in an attempt to absolve themselves from guilt or responsibilities in supporting other community members. Sometimes it sounds like one-upping, but they usually change the subject before you can notice.
Taking up space is something you won’t see them doing. It is not because they aren’t taking up space, but rather because they have developed a method of doing so that others do not notice.
One way the anarchist-identified Nice Guy™ might take up space is to capitalise on social relationships — they will be friendly to everyone and his brother, regardless of how much of a fucker he deep down thinks they are (his comments about which he’ll reserve until he’s alone with someone who he doesn’t think will react). Note that his vengeful expressions of disdain will not be limited solely to other men — the Manarchist Nice Guy™ will “secretly” despise any person, of any gender, who has said or done anything to jeopardize his spotless Nice Guy™ reputation.
Perhaps he doesn’t talk non-stop at parties or gatherings. Instead of utilizing that more standard space-hoarding method, the Nice Guys™ of anarchist, “alternative” or liberatory socialist persuasions may have a regular cycle of (usually female) partners. No one seems to be able to understand why they’ve had so many, or keep track of who he’s seeing and when. No one seems to have heard any of these partners complain (or validated their experiences in any way, at least), so we can all continue to assume the Manarchist in question is still a Nice Guy™.
Nice Guy™ has Got Stylez. Whether “working within the system” to create the change he wants to see (and most certainly wants the lovely ladies to see), or working on a consistent semi-crusty coverage, he wants to do it fashionably! (Note the Cadet Cap — for truly revolutionary Nice Guys™. Women of the resistance won’t be able to resist that devil-may-care scruff.)
Generous with time and resources, the politicized Nice Guys™ know it is their responsibility — as people who’ve got a privilege or two — to share. From each according to his fabulous ability, to each according to their pitiable need. He’ll almost never say no to a request, and he’ll even volunteer and do far more than his share of the work. All the hard work could wrangle in some Thank You Sex from that special, fair, appreciative woman in the movement who’d love to lay in bed and hear all about the EZLN. Some might call eager efforts micromanagement, but anarchist-oriented Nice Guys™ won’t let that stop them — they are doing what is right for The Movement, for the benefit of all! How… nice of them :) Thanks, Nice Guys™! Without you, we would have been totally stuck doing things for ourselves like a pack of crazy “hippy/punk” autonomists!

Maybe they’re charming and witty, or fantastic fun, or a great ear when you’re down — heck, maybe they would be swell in bed — but don’t expect these characteristics to continue when they discover they still haven’t made their way down your pants (or noticed you’ve resisted being cornered you into a position of subtle subservience).

The most potent and definitely destructive characteristic of the Nice Guy™ brand Manarchist, Mactivist or generally Brogressive folks is that pesky habit of reacting maliciously to those who stand in the way of their pursuits for status. They can turn in an instant from accommodating, listening, supportive, “nice” friends to divisive, threatening, vengeful dicks. And they will.

This gave me a pretty good laughing fit.
#manarchistryangosling?

And yet, there is a solitude which each and every one of us has always carried with him, more inaccessible than the ice-cold mountains, more profound than the midnight sea; the solitude of self. Our inner being which we call ourself, no eye nor touch of man or angel has ever pierced. It is more hidden than the caves of the gnome; the sacred adytum of the oracle; the hidden chamber of Eleusinian mystery, for to it only omniscience is permitted to enter.

Such is individual life. Who, I ask you, can take, dare take on himself the rights, the duties, the responsibilities of another human soul?

“The Solitude of Self”: E.C. Stanton

Dreamer, via Lissy Laricchia

image

Abusive Relationship Warning Signs

Part I of a two-part project inspired by a produced by Interval House of Hamilton-Wentworth.

Abuse does not always come in the form of assault — you do not have to be hit to be abused.

Abuse can look like any of the following main signs:

Does your partner or someone close to you…

Act very jealous of other people or accuse you of cheating or wanting to cheat?
Keep you from seeing or talking to friends, family, co-workers or neighbours?
Threaten to hurt you or your children or others you are close with?
Threaten to hurt themselves?
Threatening — in any way — to do anything that would make you feel bad? (E.g. threatening to kick you out; threatening to take your money)
Insult you, put you down or call you names?
Insult your friends, put them down or call them names? (Isolate you from others)
Seem to suddenly switch between charming and compassionate, to angry or withdrawn?
Get into angry ‘funks’ — ranting; silent treatment; vengeful behaviour?
Set up many rules for you to follow?
Control all the money for both of you?
Convince you to do sexual things you may not feel totally comfortable with?
Make you explain where you go, who you see and what you do, all the time?
Play minds games; engages in gas-lighting (consistently says they “don’t remember”); makes you think you are “crazy”?
Coerces you to do things that feel degrading for you?
Threaten to take your children?
Destroy or “lose” things that are important to you?
Threaten to jeopardise your relations with those you are close to? (E.g. Children, family, friends, employer, etc.)?
Make important decisions (e.g. about the household, finances, events, etc) and expect you to go along with it?
Negate or invalidate your say in certain matters?
Threaten to use weapons or other objects against you?
Push, grab, kick, hit you or use any other forms of physical violence or assault?
Make promises to change, but goes right back to how they were before??

Do you…

Feel like you are “walking on eggshells” — unable to express how you feel, in order to prevent them from getting angry at you or “exploding”?
Feel like you are always doing something wrong?
Feel like you are caught in a trap and that no one could understand your situation?
Sometimes believe the insults they say about you? (E.g. Believe that you are infact just “crazy”)
Feel afraid or intimidated about talking with your partner about how you are feeling and the problems in the relationship?
Believe that you can be (at least partly) to blame for your partner’s behaviours?
Feel as though you have no choice?
Think that your partner’s jealousy is them showing they love you?
Stop expressing yourself or stop doing things that are important to you because your partner does not like or agree with them?
Stop seeing your friends and family as often?
Feel as though your partner would be unable to go on without you, or you without them?
Feel scared, confused, upset, intimidated, frustrated, anxious or nervous and lacking control most of the time?
Have a hard time eating well, sleeping, relaxing, enjoying sex and/or enjoying yourself?
Are always certain that your partner will change “this time”?
Are always hurt and disappointed when they have not changed?

#how-to identify abuse

How Does Abuse Happen?

Part II of a two-part project inspired by a produced by Interval House of Hamilton-Wentworth.

Abuse, much like any form of oppression, is born of the belief that one person (or group) has “the right” to control another person or group. This kind of control is authoritarian and dominating.

We learn, as we are socialised, conditioned and formally educated, that Power and Control are necessary for “success”, often times a concept synonymous with “happiness” or “fortune”. Those who are most quickly able to access Power and Control, and maintain it, usually are also able to access many unearned privileges.

Some people believe it is “normal” or “natural” for one person (or group of people) to be in charge, and for other people (or groups of people) to follow the lead. A connected belief is that this dichotomy — between “naturally” dominant and “naturally” subservient — rationally justifies the ways in which certain people (or groups of people) are “punished” by those with more Power and Control. The prominent example is that of how men are assumed to be more powerful and more in-control than women.

Much of the forms of media we are exposed to throughout our lives, as well as the ways in which we are educated in school or church, and the ways we are socialised in our families and peer-relationships reinforce these beliefs. This is to say that the belief that some people are worthy of more Power and Control, while others are fated to suppression, is ingrained in many aspects of our social structure.

A person may have excuses for abusive behaviour — “they drink too much”; “they take drugs”; “they ‘just’ have a bad temper”; “they are very stressed out”; “they work a lot”; etc. People who abuse their power and who control others will often blame their abusive behaviours on something or someone else — often the person (or people) they are abusing, or acting oppressively toward.

Some abusers might suggest that they … “wouldn’t have to act that way if you would just lay off”, etc. They may suggest the abused/oppressed people are the blame. They might try to say they simply can not control their own behaviour, or that it is not their responsibility.

If you suspect you may be in an abusive relationship, Remember — You Are Not to Blame! Abusive behaviour can be controlled!

What Can You Do??

Talk about it. Start by telling someone you feel comfortable with and trusting of; open up to a close friend; chat in person, or online; visit www.compassiopit.com to access an anonymous online one-on-one chat to get your concerns off you chest (please note this resource is not for crisis); call a crisis support line if you don’t have internet access — 905.525.4162.
You are safer when others are aware of what you are experiencing!
Learning how to talk about what we are going through is the first big step.
Document your experiences — Write down your experiences of abuse, or times you have personally witnessed the Warning Signs of Abuse or assault. Even if you do not want to take action right now. This may be important for future reference (e.g. if you are forgetful, if you end up in a position where you need to try to ‘prove yourself’.)
If you are unable to access any other forms of support, you might want to consider calling the police. Know that police may not validate your struggles, and they may not actually do anything to protect you. Sometimes, the police may dismiss your concerns, or even put you in positions that could further jeopardize your safety. If you can prove (with evidence deemed ‘acceptable’ by the police) that you have been assaulted, you may be able to achieve a restraining order.
Consider contacting a shelter — they may be able to offer a place to stay, free/low-cost counselling, or phone support. You do not have to struggle alone!
Develop a safety plan. Know about all the ways to get out of the house, or have friends/support on call if you can. If you can keep a bag of resources, possibly hidden, but accessible for you, it could help — $40, list of numbers, bandages, extra tampons, etc.
Memorise emergency numbers; keep spare keeps handy. Write out a second or third list of important numbers; keep a bit of spare cash handy.
Learn the locations of nearby shelters.
If you have children, plan ahead. Having someone in-the-know who can offer to take care of them for a night or two might help you in a crisis or emergency situation.
Passports, I.D., social insurance cards, medications, keys, emergency clothing, special toys/items your children might need — consider taking these things with you if you need to leave.
See a lawyer. There may be custody and property rights you need to learn about. Immigration status, rights and freedoms might be a concern. Lawyers can provide more information about these specialised issues.
Consider leaving the relationship as soon as possible. The abuse will continue, it will likely get worse and will happen more often.
Do not blame your self. Abuse is not your fault, you can not stop it — only people being abusive can stop their own abuse. You can make yourself safe and take care of yourself and your children. You are not alone. You are not to blame!

Notes on Assault

Police (in most areas) are required, by law, to lay charges when they have “reasonable grounds” to believe an assault has occurred. Assault is a crime. Assault is any form of unwanted touching or physical contact — sexual or otherwise. If anyone threatens to kill you, that is also a crime. Laying charges may reduce physical violence. This does not pertain to all the many other forms of abuse.

Children witnessing abuse are being hurt by it — they are suffering and afraid. The effects on their life could mean that they may become violent toward others in the future, suffer low self-esteem and face many other related problems.

Things to Remember

Abuse is wrong.
Abuse happens to all kinds of people.
Abuse is a crime.
Abuse gets worse and happens more frequently if it is not stopped.
Abuse in any form is never part of a healthy relationship.
You can not stop the abuse — only your partner can do that.
You can make yourself and your children safe. You can control your own life.
You can decide what is best for you. That is your right as a human.
You have human rights, one of which is to be free from fear.
Your children also share this right.
You are not to blame.
You are not alone in having been abused.

Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.

Andrew Boy (via lotus-eyes)

(via sevenofcups)

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Woman King

Iron & Wine,

Woman King [EP]

allicansee:

Woman King - Iron & Wine

Someday we may see
A woman king
Wristwatch time
Slowin’ as she goes to sleep

Black horsefly, lemonade
Jar on the red anthill
Garden worm, cigarette
Ash on the windowsill

Hundred years, hundred more
Someday we may see
A woman king
Sword in hand
Swing at some evil and bleed